How I Learned To Love My Body
Today I truly love love LOVE my body, but it wasn’t always that way. I grew up as an active and expressive kid. I loved my body and what it could do. However, in college the pressure of media, comparison, and relationships got the best of me. I thought the skinnier I was, the more I would be loved. I followed this wish until I was no longer listening to my body. I tricked it into thinking I was being “healthy” when really I was depriving it of the nutrients it needed. The worst part of it all … it worked. I was rewarded for my new looks and seemingly healthy lifestyle, when inside my body was fighting with itself. I lost my period for 3 years, which, as an athlete, I was told was okay and normal. No one told me that it would take over 5 years for my hormones to get back to their normal levels. It also took even longer than that for my mental state to get to a place where I didn’t need to think about what I was going to eat next, or what my consequence would be for eating something.
Many women have had similar, yet incredibly unique journeys with their bodies. Today I am truly in love with how my body looks, feels, and moves. I don’t expect it to be this way forever. I know the pressures of being a woman today are tremendous. I know each time I slip and feel self-conscious and have the urge to change my shape again, it will be a different journey back to being in love. For now, here’s some of the things that have helped me get here today:
I got help. I worked with numerous counselors and therapists until I found a nutritional counselor that helped me understand the underlying issues with my mind and body connection. I thought I was going to learn about what foods I should be eating, and instead we focused on mindset and started the long journey of self-love.
I read and worked through Christine Arylo’s book Madly In Love With Me. I go back to this book often to strengthen, as she says, all the branches of my self-love tree.
I trained for an ultra-marathon. During this time my body changed shape in a way that wasn’t honored by magazines or media, but when I was able to cover tens of miles by my own feet, the pride overtook my body shame.
I stopped exercising. After I knew my body could run, hike, bike, and ski tremendous miles, I stopped exercising in the way I had before. I turned instead to restorative yoga, rest, and walking. I realized my body can move when it wants to, but in reality, a lot of the working out I thought I had to do was causing my body more stress than it needed. I took time to enjoy moving when I wanted to and resting much much more.
I traveled the world. I traveled for a year abroad, during this time there were days I ate way too much and way too little and everything in between. That year I learned that it was most important for my body to feel good so I could experience the world around me. I realized when I wasn’t feeling good about myself, I was less interested in talking to other people and experiencing new things and I didn’t want to miss the life in front of me. So I learned to do everything in my power to take care of my body, and to give it compassion when I wasn’t able to do so.
I learned Menstrual Cycle Awareness. The knowledge of the shifts and changes that my body goes through on a monthly basis has opened my mind up to a world in which I admire my bodies changes instead of taking it as a sign of something I needed to fix.
I read women’s stories and empowering books Reading tales of goddesses and myths such as in Women Who Run With The Wolves (and others) . I realized women’s power comes from their love, tenacity, and wisdom, not from the shape of their bodies.
I found art. Creating art especially inspired by women’s shapes and nature allowed me to see all women as pieces of art.
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This journey of loving your body isn’t an easy one. It takes time to unlearn so much of what we’ve been taught. It takes self-compassion over and over again. It takes clear decision making for what you will allow to come into your thoughts and what you know isn’t true for you. The work is worth it.
If you’d like some support on your journey let's look into working together.
Sending love to you and your body!
