This blog post is an abbreviated description from an interview about ceremony for the Motherhood Journey from my experience as a prenatal yoga teacher, mentor, ceremonialist, and doula. Listen for more details, ideas, and examples.

The journey into motherhood will be different for every woman. Some know right away that they want to become a mother, others are surprised by a later desire to try, and some become mothers without a conscious decision and are brought through an initiation during that time. Each story has unique decisions, surprises, difficulties, moments of confusion, and moments of deep celebration. More often than not, many or all of these moments go unnoticed. Often women are on their own to navigate the complex emotions that come with the many transitions that happen from deciding to be a mother, deciding to not be, deciding to be a mother again, deciding to try, trying working quickly, trying not working at all etc. The problem with these moments going unnoticed, is that they are actually deeply transformative for the women experiencing them. While we often celebrate events like birthdays and weddings, when some of life’s most impactful transitions go on without pause and honor, it can feel isolating and confusing.

Ceremony is a tool to mark the transitions of life and help support and hold reverence for how deeply transformative choices, decisions, and initiations can be.

What is Ceremony?

Ceremony is an event or a series of events that shifts a person into a new phase or way of life. It serves as a deliberate sacred pause, marking the transition from one phase of life or state of being to another.

Some ceremonies can feel impactful in just a few hours, and others may be more appropriate to last for many days. Ceremonies may be done at any time. On a conception journey, a ceremony could happen the first day that a woman decides that they someday want to try for a family, or some choose to have a ceremony 10 years after giving birth. Anytime that someone wants to be honored, is the perfect time to have a ceremony.

The Power of Ceremony

Ceremonies have a profound effect on our nervous systems. By transforming the mundane into the sacred, they create lasting imprints in our bodies. When we engage our senses—sight, smell, taste, sound, and touch—during a ceremony, our bodies remember these experiences, even if our minds eventually forget. This sensory connection is vital in grounding us during significant life changes and making a lasting impact on our lives.

Think back to a time when you celebrated an important milestone with a ceremony that wasn’t important to you - a birthday, graduation, or holiday, versus a time you weren’t celebrated and wished you were - starting a business, going to therapy, deciding to have children etc. These impactful moments, when given ceremony, can mark an important turning point in a person’s life. Ceremony helps to bring a person’s whole spirit into this shift.

Ceremony also honors the individual. If, instead of celebrating a transition in an obligatory way, a ceremony is created especially for an individual, it allows that person to feel seen, heard, and experienced in their unique journey. This changes culture by turning away from a script and towards deeply seeing ourselves and each other for who we are and the unique stories we carry.

Ceremony vs. Ritual

A ceremony is a defining event that marks the transition from one phase to another; it can last anywhere from an hour to several days. It could be solo or with your whole community invited.

In contrast, a ritual is a, generally shorter, repeatable practice that helps to remember or enhance that transition. It can be as simple as 3 breaths before coming in the door after work, or as complex as a new hour-long movement practice to add to your day. It could be a prayer, mantra, or add a piece of jewelry after the ceremony to remember the experience.

For instance, in my year-long cyclical living course, Rhythm, I send out a ritual each month that aligns with teachings throughout the year. These practices can be done in a few minutes or a few hours, and can be done daily. They help students ignite their senses and have a physical practice to feel in alignment with the changing seasons.

If someone has a ceremony to begin their conception journey, they can think about what qualities they want to embody during this transition. For example, they might realize that slowing down will be important. After a ceremony to note this transition in their life, they could create daily rituals—like enjoying a quiet cup of tea, or setting aside time each Sunday to plan their week. Ritual helps to solidify the intention of the ceremony.

Overcoming Barriers to Ceremony

It can be very hard for women to celebrate themselves. Many women are taught to not brag or be loud especially about things that “many people decide to do” or people have done before. It can even feel awkward to invite people to a celebration that they may have not seen before. It can be radical to take a stand and say I deserve to be celebrated for this. I suggest this reclaiming of celebration. Usually I have seen that when someone is invited to a ceremony with intention, the reflection is not often “that is weird” it is instead “that is so cool, you can DO that?!”. Women are the creators of culture and when one woman is celebrated in a new way, it carves the path for others to be celebrated in ways that are meaningful to them.

Another barrier can be that some people feel intimidated by the idea of creating their own ceremonies. This hesitation often stems from past experiences or preconceived notions. Perhaps they remember being forced to wear a birthday hat they disliked, or they envision elaborate rituals that feel disconnected from their reality. Others may be concerned about cultural appropriation, hesitant to adopt practices they don’t fully understand.

To address these concerns, I offer a free downloadable step-by-step guide to self-ceremony. Self-Ceremony is the ability to make intentions, plans, and facilitate a ceremony for your unique transition. The essence of a ceremony lies in personal significance, not in following strict rules. Whether you choose a private moment of reflection, a 200-person celebration, or a simple walk in nature, your ceremony should honor your unique transition. There’s nothing to fear, and no prescribed format to follow—what matters most is what feels meaningful to you.

The Five Stages of Ceremony

These stages provide a framework for creating a meaningful ceremony that reflects your unique journey. While specific cultural ceremonies have deep-rooted traditions, this approach allows you to craft a personal experience that resonates with your transition.

1. Reflection: Where are you coming from?

2. Honoring: Where are you now, just as you are?

3. Transformation: Dedicating yourself to a new way of being.

4. Emerging: Celebrating and adorning your new self.

5. Integration: How do you want to be in the world now—what rituals will support you?

My Favorite Ceremony to Facilitate

One of my favorite ceremonies to facilitate right now is the Closing of the Bones. This practice is done to close one chapter of life and open to another. I am often offering it 40-days postpartum to help energetically separate the Motherbaby. It holds deep significance, offering a powerful way for women to honor their experiences and transitions.

Embracing ceremony as a meaningful part of the conception and motherhood journey allows for deeper connections to ourselves and our transitions. It’s an opportunity to create sacred spaces that honor our unique paths, making the journey all the more transformative. If you’re curious about setting up your own ceremony, explore the guide, try some things for yourself, and decide what is most impactful for you to honor your own life’s transitions.